Today I *am* a number (pre-op)

That number is #290. Last month is was #289. I needed to be #284. I'm going to try a few more things this month. I'm seeing the exercise physiologist on Thursday to get a better work out.

I'm going to blog for the next 21 days (I started late didn't mean to just, can access computers from work, and found out late got started late.... and late.

Part of it is the blogging. I enjoy that. It gives me a place to be upset that I gained a pound in this last month, water weight or no. If it is water weight HORRIBLE TIMING BODY. If it's not, well I'll work harder. I'm not entirely sure that I can reach 800 words a day, for me just blogging every day will be something of a feat.

It also gives me a place to think about how possible lay offs may be effecting my relationship with food. (Why is it I eat more during the week and almost always crave chocolate when at work?)

Next part of the 21•5•800, The Yoga! I have been focusing more on the cardo end of fitness and will continue to do so but adding an element of yoga is going to give me some more flexibility. For one thing I can do it in the privacy of my own home. This is important to me since I hate having people see me at a point of weakness. Yes, etting hot and sweaty on an elliptical. fine. Trying to touch my toes and falling or god forbid trying to get into full child, painful an embarrassing.

Just the word yoga brings back different, but almost all good emotions and memories. I was introduced to it in high school, as I was in so many things. It was winter, and the room was cold. Having that time before dawn, first to breath, then to stretch and learn a sun salutation brought great peace to my mornings. I, will take a step to bring some of that peace back into my life. Lately things have been going at such a fast pace it can be hard to breath much less thinking and being mindful.

Im hoping that yoga, and blogging, will help me to become a more mindful person in full. Living in the moment now, eating in the now (limited to 20 minutes at a time and decent food stuff) and not forgetting that everything I do effects my body.

My goal for the next 21 dys that I am adding to the yoga and the writing, is to spend the 20 minutes allotted to eating thinking about each bite. I have a lot of time to do so because, I'm at the point that all food gets chewed to the consistency of apple sauce.

When I eat vegetables I can think of the earth the grew them and the sun that warmed them, as well as the delicious flavor and the changes each one brings. Eating meat, again there are subtile flavors that each kind of meat comes with. The differences in marinades, and ultimately the life that was given. I don't think that I am going to stop eating meat but i want to be mindful. I hope that this surgery doesn't take away from my enjoyment of food either but I am prepared to enjoy things a little less.

So, here's to being mindful, to the body, to the soul and for life.


word count, 614. So close to 800 but I am done for the evening.